Putting my foot in my mouth – Daily Thoughts 6.28.13

So this last week I have had two instances where I have wanted to put my foot in my mouth and take back something I posted on a social media site. The first is this facebook status:

I love nature, there is nothing more romanticizing than sleeping under a thin sheet of canvas as the weather rips the sky apart over your head. The power you feel is so connecting, very kami.

Well that same night, not even two hours later, a tree was blown over on top of my car. (This was around 2 a.m. Friday, June 21, 2014 in Sibley State Park near Willmar, MN)

Liza under a tree

 

Now this week, I posted this post about putting the past behind me and forgiving myself and my old profession for my back injury. Well…here is why I need to put my foot in my mouth for a second time in one week.

For the last year and a half I have lived across the interstate from the main base of the ambulance garage in town. About every 20 minutes we are blessed with the sound of sirens as the giant metal boxes scream out of the garage toward a patient in need.

At first, it bothered me a lot because of my aforementioned stress about not being able to continue in my career as a paramedic. I seemed to convince myself that every siren I heard was a personal attack on me and my inability to lose enough weight or be healthy enough to not sustain an injury. (Keep in mind I am aware of the statistic that 1-in-5 EMS professionals are taken out of the field by an injury within their first four years on the job.)

But last week, before I came to the realization of my last post, I applied for an opening for a paramedic educator at this same ambulance garage. I have assisted with classes in the past, and have taught many CPR classes. I know that my only way back into working as  a paramedic is through an ER job, which are few and far between, or teaching EMS classes.

Today, I met with the director of EMS education to talk about working as an educator through the ambulance’s high paced, very active EMS education center.

I was offered a full time job teaching paramedic courses right on the spot — and this wasn’t even an official interview, I just came to meet with this woman and talk about other possible teaching opportunities.

I was so excited that I started asking a million questions and I think I scared the lady I was meeting with. I wanted so badly to say yes to that job. Tuesdays and Thursdays and one weekend a month? Yes please!

I was so conflicted, I finally had a change of heart, had forgiven myself and my old career after years of upset, and now here I sit, trying to figure out if I want to go back into the profession.

I was so honored to have been offered the job, but after my hesitations with school and my other 3 jobs (one of which I would have quit, I like to be busy, but I know now how to not over-do it), I was offered a job teaching CPR classes.

I’m still conflicted. I think CPR is one of the most favorite classes that I have taught because CPR is the most basic things you can know to save a life, but also THE most important.

I say I’m conflicted because I just decided to work on what I’m calling “My New Life” as a journalism student. But I think I was too hasty when I said it was time for me to put the past behind me. I have a chance to help people again, and while I wont be saving lives directly, I could be saving lives through teaching others to save lives. What a great experience and a wonderful opportunity.

A mentor of mine told me “Isn’t it funny how good luck and bad luck seem to run in streaks?”

I am definitely on a good luck streak right now, I’m going to keep a positive attitude and see how far I can go.

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